Day Five, Sam's Entry

Yesterday we set up shop at the oval on OSU, not 50 yards away from a loud, inflammatory preacher. But he wasn't the issue. Phil was the issue. We had gotten a few questions when he arrived, no doubt fostered by the free water we were giving away. He came over and began by asking what we were doing, then followed that up with "If you were to remove every course from school but one, which would it be?" I replied with history. Somehow, it didn't seem like that was precisely the answer he wanted.

I started to get an idea of where he was coming from when he asked about globalism, the idea that the world is moving towards a totally unified government, with no more nations and all power resting in the hands of one man. (It's crap, by the way. The power of the ego is one of the strongest forces in existence, and it is most prevalent in the field of politics.) That one man, by the way, would be the Anti-Christ.

Then he asked us if we were good people. We replied, basically, yes. Then he asked us if we'd ever lied. We said we had, but when I tried to clarify that it was when I was younger, he said it didn't matter. The example he then gave was of a man who murders someone and gets away with it, but twenty years later is found out. Shouldn't he still be punished, he asked? Of course, we said. Because he's a what? asked Phil. He's a murderer, we answered.

By that logic, then, Phil claimed we were both liars. Also thieves, if we'd stolen. We'd looked upon women lustfully, especially since there were plenty of ladies in bikinis on the oval that day, and according to Jesus, that was a sin because God judges one's heart. We'd used God's name in vain. But he understood we were repentant, and he made a point of mentioning that we seemed like good guys. The key, he said, was that we had to accept Christ's love and be born again, or we would be damned. He didn't say that last bit explicitly, but that was basically it.

We talked with this guy for an hour. Or rather, he talked to us. Our setup meant he was able to ask every leading question he'd memorized, and the worst part was, at the time, I didn't realize he was doing it. I was frustrated, but didn't know why. In fact, as we were packing up, I accused Austin of letting him control the conversation. What I didn't realize was that we were both complicit.

What Phil said was that we're still good guys because of our consciences, and our conscience is "written on our heart by God". Whenever we brought up the fact that parents and society, as well as religion, play a huge part in shaping our ethics from a very young age, not to mention the fact that people who had never heard of Christ even after Jesus's death led ethically sound lives, he would brush that aside. It was God.

He brushed aside most of our arguments. Especially those concerning the fact that one of the major tenets of just about every religion is the fact that it is the true religion, and none other. Obviously, they can't all be right. And Phil said as such. But he said that it was in the Bible that God was the way. And the Bible was written by God, so it must be true. And how does he know that for sure? Why, because it was in the Bible, of course. We ran in circles like that for a whole hour without even realizing it.

As we were finishing up, Austin went to talk to a friend who was passing by and happened to see us, while Phil and I continued the conversation. He informed me that the end times were near, and God had probably sent him my way so that I could make the right choice and save myself, and I might not get another chance. I asked him how he could be so sure the end times were near.

He said first that the media was a big part, because the mainstream was so biased. I replied that when I think of the mainstream (which doesn't really exist anymore, but I didn't bother mentioning that), I think of CNN and Fox News, which go in completely different directions. I also pointed out the internet, which allowed for a practically infinite number of places to get information. He said something about it being "grassroots", then changed the topic. Did that a lot, too. He said then that when he was growing up, his tuition to go to this school (OSU) would be something around $260, but now would be so much more expensive.

So forget climate change, nuclear weapons, mass starvation, economic collapse, pandemics, or any other of the numerous reasons the news throws at us every day for why the world is going to end any second now. The real harbinger of doom is inflation.

Ordinarily, I'd be asleep now (I am, after all, a crotchety old man at heart). But I couldn't sleep. Something about what Phil had said was nagging at me from the moment we left. But I realized, it wasn't what he said. It was how he said it.

I've already devoted enough thought to the possibility of an afterlife, and the possibility that God is judging my thoughts. First of all, I'm a deist, which is to say I believe basically that God set the universe in motion, but doesn't interfere. Second, I can't believe in a God who would lump me into the same boxcar to hell as the people committing unspeakable atrocities in Sudan (in the name of the Lord, mind you) because I couldn't help but stare at a hot girl in a bikini and I lied to my mother about brushing my teeth when I was 11, and I haven't gone to church so an old guy can get all excited and yell at me so I can pass out from heat exhaustion. No, it's more than that. I refuse to believe in a God who says to himself, "Well, he was a very nice man with a loving family who gave to charity, never stole, and led an honest life, but he's Muslim so he didn't accept Jesus as my son so he's going to hell." Or how about, "You know, even though he was an upstanding family man, who raised his children well, mentored several troubled teenagers, and managed to devote himself to community service while he was at it, but he did kiss other dudes, so it looks like he'll be spending the rest of eternity in a pit of fire and anguish. Hey, those are the rules, pal. Tough shit."

What scared me was the fact that Phil was completely convinced he was right. I could feel the self-assurance and self-righteousness seeping off of him, as well as the deep entrenchment. Whenever he was in danger of losing ground or having to concede a point, he would change the subject or repeat himself (usually something along the lines of "it's in the Bible, so there"). Whenever Austin or I tried to clarify our responses, he wouldn't let us. There is no gray. There is what's in the Good Book, which is right, and what isn't, which is wrong.

 

I understand why he would feel this way. It's so easy not to have to worry. To have your life laid out for you and to know instantly how to feel about any issue, because it's in the book, and if it isn't, someone will be along to tell you right away. It's that same sort of mentality that can lead to scary actions, because someone told you to do it, and they are right, no question. You know this in your heart, so why bother wondering about anything? What's more, he mentioned men like Hitler and Alexander the Great, and it just occurred to me that they were worshipped with the same fervor Philip believes in God for the same reason. People like to think that they have a large amount of control over their lives, and that they are involved in something greater than themselves. If they're feeling distressed, they'll believe whatever hype gets thrown their way, because at least it's something. And if that something just happens to proclaim that it is the only true thing and it will save you, so much the better.

When Austin said that it's all about following your own path, Phil agreed. Then he proceeded to tell us why we must choose his.